8:37–pm? (addicted)

sittin in the dark

laughing quietly

it’s all derelict

the bottom of the spoon is black

I taste the last hit going stale in my mouth

Shirt scratches my back where I can’t reach

I’ve lost my friends

one by one

to commercialism

I dance when no one’s watching

I peer out the window through the blinds

and decide it’s better holed up in here

the headlights blind me gently

like a cold nose on a warm day

like a clear blend of emotion and intellect burning on the spoon

idly melting and hissing

I get high to forget what I did to get high last time

my eyes hurt when I need my fix

I feel like I’m running in the sand

another O.D. …

barefoot in long jeans that come down over my feet

the sand flies and my legs pump and my heart bangs

but I go nowhere

I need to clean the lab

not sterile

a fly

a contaminant!

chasing so long I feel like I’m the one being chased in reverse

stained pillowcase buried in half-smoked cigarettes

a leaf blew in the door the other day

it reminded me to eat

I wish I were ready

to quit all this, but not just yet

not just yet.



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